What helps

So here is a list of what helps.. I'll keep adding to the list on as I go along.
What helps:
* Having friends you genuinely enjoy being with. Try speaking about non-relationship related subjects with them.
* Spending quality time with your pets if you have any.
* Gardening. Even if you have only a small flower pot, it helps.
* Watching the nature.
* Talking with your family members if you have a good relationship with them.
* Focusing on your job. Even if you don't like your job, it gives you something other than your relationship problems to focus on.
* Going out of the house. Doesn't matter where. As long as you don't go to places that remind you of him.
* Dieting. Helps you feel like you have will power. It's also good to lose a few extra pounds that you find difficult to squeeze into your jeans.
* Going to the hairdresser, beauty parlour or a spa, getting a massage, a facial, mani-pedi or a hair blow dry. Be careful about big changes like haircuts or a new hair colour. It might backfire, so think twice.
* Making plans for your future which would make you a more grounded person. The more non-relationship related, the better. Plans for self improvement, like how to be more successful at your job, learning a new hobby, starting the gym. Things that you would do for yourself, not for other people.
* Helping others. It helps you focus on something other than yourself. You forget about your own pain and help ease someone else's.
* Buying something nice for yourself. Be careful not to go over the budget though or you may hate yourself for it afterwards.
* Going to the cinema and seeing a comedy, an animation or an action movie. Don't go to the artsy movies that question the meaning of life or Rom-Coms, though, or you may end up crying buckets of tears. You don't want that. When you choose the movie, go for the ones with the cheesiest names like "Plants vs. Aliens", and avoid the ones described as "touching", "heart-warming", "outstanding", etc. The same rule applies to watching DVDs at home.
* Smoking, drinking and eating a lot. I know it's bad to smoke but it numbs you and when worst comes to worst, you may find it helpful. Try not to get addicted though. In order not to get addicted, I am trying not to smoke every time I want. Be extra careful with this one. Drinking alcohol tends to make me cry, plus it's empty calories, so I would say go easy on the alcohol. Eating a lot is ok if you can control yourself the next few days, but be careful on not gaining weight. Life is difficult enough as it is, so you don't want to gain weight on top of everything else.
* Reading self help books. I find it more helpful to read self help books on re-building your confidence and life coaching, rather than reading self help books on relationships. Relationship books bring me down. I keep blaming myself for all the things I wish I had done differently.
* Going to the gym. I find this very helpful. You feel like you're getting stronger. Your confidence increases. Your body starts getting in better shape. You get rid of your negative energy. Evenings can be tough. When you go to the gym in the evening, you have less time to feel alone and pity yourself at home. Plus you get tired so when you come home at night you have better chance of sleeping.
* Keeping busy. Fill your time up with things so you don't have any time or energy left to think about things you don't want to think about.
* Make a happy song list full of empowering songs and listen to it all the time. The songs should be hopeful, upbeat and positive, not self pitying, angry or romantic.
* Keep a happiness notebook. Write down happy, encouraging and empowering quotations and affirmations, and read it over and over and over and over again. Never leave the house without it.
* Be grateful for all the good things in your life. Count them all one by one and thank for them.
* Watch documentaries. I like watching documentaries on space, animals, nature, art, technology, other cultures... They remind me that there are so many different ways of living and so many different things other than me and my misery.
* Knitting. I find it very therapeutic. Try and see if you like it.
 * Cooking. Again, I think it's very therapeutic. If you end up making something you are proud of, share it with your friends. Great way to feel good and cut down on the calories.
* Controlling the things which you can control; like being organised, being on time, keeping your promises to yourself and to others.
* Writing blogs, hoping you might help others who are going through similar things. x