This is not the happiest time of my life. I don't want to sound as if I'm pitying myself. I'm not. I'm just hurting at the moment and I don't know how to heal myself. I am looking for a way out.
The reason I'm writing how I'm feeling is because in my daily life I'm covering up, trying to hold myself together. I need to let it out somehow. I need to acknowledge my pain. And maybe, if there is someone else feeling as shitty as I am feeling right now, if they read this, they won't feel as lonely as I do at the moment. They will know that it can get very low, and if I can find a way out, than they will see that it can get better for them too. I need to see that. So by writing this blog, if I can find a way out, I may give hope to someone else who needs it.
We all pretend not to hurt. We all pretend to be ok. That makes it very difficult when you're sad, because you feel like you are the only one who is all messed up whereas everyone else seem to be doing so well.
Well, I am not doing well at all. I have hit the bottom so hard that it left a whole on the ground.
So if I can find a way out, you'll know you can too.